![]() This can result in an escalating cycle of intrusion by the “rejected” Two and withdrawal by the “smothered” Five. Then Twos active energy can feel intrusive, overly emotional, and demanding to Fives, who then contracts and disengages. ![]() However, in wanting more connection and acknowledgement, Twos try to bring Fives forward into feelings and more sustained contact. This relationship is truly an attraction of opposites. Fives appreciate Twos’ support and engagement. Twos appreciate Fives’ intellect, calmness, and restraint. This cycle could lead to an unraveling of the relationship. Then the Four may become scornful and/or feels rejected and pull away and the Two feeling unappreciated and rejected may erupt in emotion. A cycle of escalating conflict can result with the Two becoming impatient with the seeming resistance, inaction, and self-centeredness of the Four, who in turn, can be put off by the Two’s seeming “superficialness,” pride, inability to stand alone, and/or apparent smothering. They can get caught up in the emotions and intensity of Fours and lose their own sense of separateness. ![]() Twos try to satisfy the apparently needy Fours, attempting to fulfill their needs. This pattern can result in withdrawal and eventually in alienation end to the relationship. A cycle of increasing conflict can result with the two types polarizing – the Two feeling rejected, getting emotional, and emoting anger and with the Three feeling unrecognized and impatient and then disappearing into work. Conflict occurs when Twos experience Threes as discounting feelings and relationship issues, while Threes experience Twos as getting off task and wanting too much time and attention. Twos and Threes join together in accomplishing shared goals and in keeping life up and positive, usually with Twos supporting Threes’ goals and accomplishments, hoping to be appreciated in return. There just may not be enough flow of giving and receiving to sustain the relationship. Ultimately hurt feelings may then ensue leading to angry, emotional outbursts and ultimately to withdrawal or rejection. Failure to get into the natural flow of giving and receiving, can lead to emotional upset and to who is dependent on whom. Since neither partner is oriented toward receiving or asking, there is no natural counterbalance to the two partners’ mutual tendency to focus on the other. Having little awareness of their own needs, however, they may become overly solicitous with each other, compete for approval, and feel unappreciated, unfulfilled, and (ironically) unconnected. Twos join together in valuing a focus on relationships and in appreciating the nurturing quality and sensitivity to feelings in each other. As a result, estrangement and deadening can lead to disruption of the relationship. This can lead to estrangement, especially since neither type is good at expressing desires and needs (even though Twos can be on the hedonistic side in the service of others). A cycle of heightening conflict can manifest with criticism and counter-criticism about what is wrong, who needs help, and what constitutes care. The Two, in turn, can feel unappreciated, judged as being hedonistic and giving too much, and therefore not acknowledged by the emotionally restrained One. The One can receive the Two’s abundance of good advice as criticism. The One, however, can experience the Two as being too tied to the relationship and even dependent and unnecessarily helpful. Ones offer steadfastness, dependability, and industry, while Twos offer emotion, optimism, attention to the relationship, and pizzazz – a good combination. □ Enneagram Type 2 in Love & Relationships 1️⃣ ❤️ 2️⃣
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